Linggo, Setyembre 23, 2018

Reporters Nearly Box: Thought "Kin" Was Jap, Chink

By Mortz C. Ortigoza
Dahil dito sa headline ko muntik na magsuntukan kahapon ang dalawang radio broadcasters.
'IT'S FINAL, ART FOR GOVERNOR - KIN"
(click to view entire news)

Radio Man 1 - Iyong Kin sigurado ako apelyido ng Hapon iyan.
Radio Man 2: Napaka bobo mo naman. Paano maging Hapon iyan, iyong Hapon mga apelyido noon"Tadayashi, Akirawa, Yamashita. Iyang "Kin" kung hindi apelyido ng Chinese iyan, Korean iyan, bobo!
KIN (noun), by the way means "one's family and relations. Example: "He is expected to make a payment to his wife's kin" synonyms: relatives, relations, family (members), and kindred.
Image result for funny chinese face
Is Mr. Kin Japanese, Chinese, or Korean?
***
Here's a broadcaster (a pastor who accidentally became a radio commentator of a religious station) who asked the mayor of a city why the hizzoner (His Honor the Mayor) practiced double standard on filling a string of corruption cases against the city treasurer, cashier, and a clerk who were found to have Prima Facie (Latin words for lawyers “on the first appearance”) on the cases they allegedly committed.
“Bakit niyo kinasuhan iyong tatlo ng Anti-Graft & Corrupt Practices, bakit si Prima Facie hindi niyo kinasuhan – ano ba ang meron kay Prima Facie at hindi magalaw-galaw, mayor?” he exasperatedly posed in a press conference in San Carlos City.
Of the 30 media men who were at that conference, only three chuckled. The rest were probably as “stupid” as the broadcaster, they thought Prima Facie or Prima Fa-Sy was the older brother of Northern Times publisher Lelia Sy.
Could you still remember a lady radio commentator explaining in his program that those suspected John Doe and Jane Doe who escaped the police dragnet were probably sibling or cousins because of their similar surnames?
The Americans have a quipped for all of those boo-boos: “I’ll be damned!”
***

Ito po ang interbyu ko sa isang Superintendent ng Department of Education na may hawak ng almost 10, 000 teachers sa kanyang jurisdiction.
Year 2010 po ang pangyayari kung saan ang mga bigwigs ng DepEd ay abala sa pag paplastada ng K-12 or Kindergarten to Grades 1 to 12 na hindi pa kilala masyado sa Pinas.
Kasama ko si namayapang Max na reporter ng radio na ganito ang kinahahantungan ng interbyu namin sa nasabing DepEd’s bigwig:
MORTZ:  Maam, ano na ang pinagkaka-abalahan ng DepEd ninyo ngayong pasukan na naman?

SUPT.: Ito, inaayos namin ng mga supervisors at principals ko ang K-12.

MAX: K-12 madam? Kelan pa pinasukan ng Dep Ed ang mga aso? Akala ko pagtuturo sa mga bata ang pangunahing layunin at inaatupag ng Dep Ed?

SUPT.: Ikaw talaga Max! Hindi K-12 iyong ibig mong sabihin K-9 iyon! Iyan ang ginagamit ng PSG (Presidential Security Group) na aso na muntik ng makagat ang reporters na si Atong, Ronnel, at Harold dahil wala silang presidential media coverage I.D noong dumating dito si President Aquino.

Ipagpaumanhin po ninyo ang anecdote ko sa the late Max (Ilokanong magaling mag Bisaya na katsukaran ko) dahil naala-ala ko ang laughing value ng napanu-od ko na Miss Gay sa YouTube sa pelikulang Bekikang na ni direct ng mahusay na kababayan kong Ilonggong Director na  beki rin na si Wen Deramas (I seldom watch Filipino flicks Direk since ang cable-TV namin may diperensiya kaya puro Russian shows ang lumalabas) na kung saan ang style ng kanyang mga box office hits could be likened to the bastardized Scary Movies, Naked Guns and Gods Must be Crazy.

HOST IN THE MISS GAY: Experts said if the Filipinos want to be globally competitive the government should introduce K-12 to its education system. What’s your STAND on K-12?

BADING (na kamukha ni Barok sa Hiwaga Komik na sobrang nerbiyos kasi nose-bleed English ang tanong): What’s my stand? I don’t want to stand, I want to sit! I don’t like K-2 nor K-12, what I liked is K-9 Dog Style. Thank you!

Diyos Mio, nag riot po ang mga ta-o sapalakpakan at pag indak ng kanilang pa-a dahil sa galing ng Bading na kamukha nila Flintstones.



(NOTE: Most of my write ups above were anecdotes. Only one of them was a satire. Kung sa Tagalog pa, galing sa mga tire na bulok sa vulcanizing shop)