My Unforgettable Visit at the Japanese Imperial Palace

By Mortz C. Ortigoza

During the official visit of the Philippines President to Japan, radio listeners and Face Book Live Feed’s viewers were treated about my narration with co-anchor Harold Barcelona on my nephew (father was Japanese) who was anointed by Japan Emperor Akihito to be the lead samurai or powerful military caste of the Imperial House or Koshitsu of the Nippon.

JAPAN VISIT. Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte and Japanese
 Prime Minister Shinzo Abe. Photo Credit: GMANetwork.com

Here’s what I told Harold when I went with my nephew at the Koshitsu for the contest where my kin Maraki Akin-ari, 21, was pitted with contestants from Tokyo and Nagasaki about their slick, quickness, and deft in handling a samurai’s sword.

When Akihito threw a fly above, the Tokyo guy unleashed his sword and struck the fly by slicing it into two pieces. 
Spectators applauded.

When the Sun-God of Japan, threw a fly above, the Nagasaki guy rapidly hammered it twice with his sword and the fly was sliced into four pieces.

Spectators went wild.

When it was the turn of my nephew who grew up in Tondo and not Tokyo as previously described by the media, the Emperor threw the fly above and Maraki Akin-ari attempted to hit the fly 20 times but to no avail. The fly still flew and nagalit si Emperor Akihito.

“Wala kang kuwentang Samurai, 20 times mong tinaga ang bangaw, walang nangyari. Hindi ka puweding maging Lead Samurai dito sa Imperial Palace,” he chided my nephew.

 Maraki Akin-ari whom I trained, during our drinking spree with Kuatro Kantos, on the Art of Reasons, emphatically told the Emperor in Filipino that was immediately translated into Japanese:

“Mahal na Hari, hindi ibig sabihin na sa 20 times kong pag hampas ng espada ay pumalpak na ako. Kumuha kayo ng microscope o magnifying glass para makita ninyo kung paano ko tinuli ang langaw”.

 Japanese translation so you can see I was telling the truth in this article of my direct narration of what ensued during that time in 2014 at the Imperial Palace:

漢字 – Kanji	ひらがな - Hiragana	Romaji
ありがとうございます	ありがとうございます	arigatou gozaimasu
どういたしまして	どういたしまして	Douitashimashite
おはよう	おはよう	ohayou
おはようございます	おはようございます	ohayou gozaimasu

                                           JAPANESE WORDS TRANSLATED TO PILIPINO:

Is this your property? Arimoto?
Yes, this is my property. Arikoto.
You have a big cock. Laki-arimo
You have a small cock. Bakero u-odbayan

Is this yours? Sayobato?
This is mine. Sakinitu.
Can I have it? Akinato?
You can have it. Sayonato
Can we have it? Saminato?
You haven't washed your face. Mimutamatamo.
You've grown so thin! Kitanabutumo!
We saw each other. Kitakami.
We had a big get-together. Kitakitakami.
Have a drink before you go. Tomakamuna
That was my assumption. Inakarako.
Let's go quickly. Bachi na yota.
We will boycott the election. Kaminoboto.
Under arm odor. Kirikiripawa.
Are you a victim of discrimination? Minamatakaba?
I give up. Sukonako.
OUCH! Haraikupo!
What a sad life it is. Hainaku.
I'm going to leave you. Sawanakosayo.
pinoy, pinoy jokes, tagalog jokes, tagalog joke,
Is this your car? Otomoto?
This is my car. Otokoto.
I'll take this. Kukuninkoto
This is my desk. Itodesko.
Speechless. Wasabe.
I have a lot of things to do. Hironako.
What are your thoughts? Kuru-kuromo?
I am thinking. Munimuniko.
Are you playing the guitar? Gigitaraka?
Is this your underwear? Jakeemoto?
You're crazy! Sirauromo!
You're drooling! Turorawayka!

(You can read my selected columns at http://mortzortigoza.blogspot.com and articles at Pangasinan News Aro. You can send comments too at totomortz@yahoo.com)