Biyernes, Marso 24, 2023

Mga Sari-Saring Jokes ni Joker M. - Part -1

 BULAG SUMAKAY NG TAXI SA EDSA

DRIVER: Alam niyo po ba Mama’ ang pupuntahan ninyo e bulag po kayo?
BULAG: Wag kayong mabahala dahil alam ko ang pupuntahan ko sa pamamagitan ng malakas na pang amoy ko. Nasa Guadalupe na tayo dahil naamoy ko na ang mga hinog na mga manga.
DRIVER: Ang galing ninyo talaga Ma’, alam na alam ninyo.
BULAG: Ngayon nasa simbahan na tayo ng Baclaran dahil amoy kandila na!
DRIVER: Grabe, alam na alam ninyo po ang lugar!
(NOONG NAPADAAN ANG TAXI SA TINDAHAN NG MGA TOYO’ (BULAD SA BISAYA).
BULAG: Good evening pretty ladies!




KANDILA
Isang Madre nagpa check - up sa hospital dahil delay na ang regla niya. Nagkamali ang laboratory staff na maipagpalit ang urine sample ni Sister sa Misis na buntis.
DOCTOR: Sister nakakalungkot mang sabihin pero ang resulta ng test ninyo ay buntis po kayo.
MADRE (Shock): Doctor nakakabuntis na pala ngayon ang kandila sa kumbento.




SI TORO
Isang araw nasa bathroom si Mister nag aahit ng biglang pumasok si Toro na isang karpentero para umihi. Napa impress si Mister ng makita ang laki at haba ng ari ni Toro at ito’y tinanong niya:
Ano ang sekreto mo bakit masyadong malaki iyan?
Ani Toro: Simpli lang Sir. Bago ako makipagtalik sa mga babae pinapalo ko ng ari ko ang isang poste ng kama ng tatlong beses.
Sobrang saya noong Mister at gusting subukan para lumaki din at humaba ang ari niya.
Kaya noong gabi na iyon bago siya umakyat sa kama ni Misis niya pinalo ni Toro ang ari niya ng tatlong beses sa poste ng higaan. Nagising sa ingay ng pagpalo si Misis niya at itoy napatanong: TORO, IKAW BA IYAN?

Sabado, Marso 11, 2023

Labrador Mayor Cites P400-M Yearly Benefits for Hosting Nuke

 By Mortz C. Ortigoza

LABRADOR, Pangasinan – The mayor in this one of the poorest towns of Pangasinan cited the approximately P400 million a year business tax and other benefits incase its coastal municipality host a nuclear power plant proposed by the leadership of the country.

Ito ginagawa ko lang dahil gusto kung umasenso rin ang buhay ng Labrador (I am doing this to make better the lives of the people of Labrador),” Mayor Ernesto Acain told Northern Watch Newspaper.


YES TO NUKE!: Top photo is  a picture of two nuclear power plants in Europe while photos below from left to right is Labrador, Pangasinan Mayor Ernesto Acain who advocates for a nuclear reactor in his fourth class town and Congress’s Committee on Nuclear Energy Chairman Pangasinan 2nd District Rep. Mark Cojuangco.

The newly elected Mayor explained how one thousand of his constituents would be employed at the initial construction of a 1,000 megawatt plant and the up to ten or fifteen thousand Labradorians and outsiders would be employed in the almost ten years’ construction of the expensive power facility but environmental friendly. A nuclear power plant does not emit carbon dioxide like coal power plants.

“A minimum of 1000 taga Labrador kung full blast 10,000 to 15,000 people and in business tax sabi ko sa kanila approximately P400 million a year. Saan natin kukunin ang (ganoong) pera?”

Acain assured land owners whose real properties will be expropriated by the operator of the nuclear reactor that they will be paid two-fold as compared to the average rate of just compensation given to other land owners in the country.

“Paano kung matatamaan ang lupa namin, sabi ko two times compensated may ilalagay sa resettlement halos lahat ng benepisyo nandoon kayo”.

Acain said that in case a power plant is built in his town, the residents become recipients of the various programs mandated by the Energy Regulations No. 1-94 (ER 1-94) that falls under the Department of Energy Act of 1992 in conjunction with the Electric Power Industry Reform Act of 2001 (EPIRA).

ER-1-94 states that these communities will receive one centavo for every kilowatt-hour (P0.01/kWh) generated. These funds can be used by host beneficiaries for the electrification of areas or households that have no access to power and livelihood programs. This includes reforestation, watershed management, health, and environmental enhancement initiatives.

The mayor said the proponent wanted four nuclear power plants to be built in his town but he told them he would go for one in the meantime.

He said the hosting of the electricity behemoth would be safe to the lives and health of the 26,811 residents (2020 Census) as it is far to the earthquake fault line.

“Dito lang sa Labrador may dagat may beach may high elevation at my strong soil bearing capacity. At saka malayo ang fault line”.

The nuclear plant could produce more electricity despite it is only 1000 megawatt than the 1,200 megawatt of the Team Energy in the nearby Sual town. The Team Energy pays a business tax of more or less P200 million a year to the local government of Sual that becomes now one of the richest town in the country.

Doon sa coal kasi 60 percent lang ang average output capacity. Pag nuclear 90 to 95 percent mas Malaki”

TIMELINE

The Mayor explained that it will take two to three years of planning, design, and the procurements of right of ways until the investor go for the construction there.

The different components of a nuclear power plant. Photo credit: Foronuclear.org

“It takes five to six years to construction time. Hindi na kami makikinabang. Baka hindi na kami mayor pag construction na”.

He rebutted those who oppose the bringing of cheap electricity through nuclear power plant in the country.

“Ngayon meron Bangladesh, South Korea, France meron sila. Na sasakripisyo ba nila ang tao?”

 As of 2022, the International Atomic Energy Agency reported there were 422 nuclear power reactors in operation in 32 countries around the world, and 57 nuclear power reactors under construction.

He said the United States alone has 92 nuclear reactors.

"There are 172 nuclear battleships 11 aircraft carriers sa U.S, kung andoon ang commander nila mga matataas na tao isang aircraft carrier katumbas iya ng isang 5,000 people isapapalaran mo ba ang navy mo mga tao mo? Natutulog sila katabi ang nuclear reactor".

He said he answered all the quiries of his constituents about their fear of nuclear meltdown.

He said the fear of the oppositions that incase war in China and the Philippines erupt the former will target the plant with her missiles and endanger the people in and out of this town thus they will be exposed to radiation.

He cited that China will not do it because she is a signatory of the Article of War in the United Nations.

The current war in Southern Ukraine against Russia saw the Zaporizhzhia Nuclear Power Station - that used to produce 20 percent of the power needs of Ukraine – was disabled and even used by the Russian soldiers as base because the Ukrainian military will not target it.

CHERNOBY AND FUKUSHIMA NUCLEAR MELTDOWNS 

He cited that the error of the plant in Fukushima Daiichi nuclear power plant in Japan ensued because it was built in a low elevation that was slammed by a bigger tsunami when a magnitude 9.0 earthquake rocked the area in March 11, 2011.

Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant Disaster. Photo credit: Storymaps.arcgis.com

News report said that a 17 meters (56 feet) high tsunami hit into the coastal plant, destroying its power supply and cooling systems and causing meltdowns at reactors Nos. 1, 2 and 3.

To see that the power plant in the Philippines will be safe to the people, the government should emulate the reactors in the United States and other countries that have containment vessels that are designed to withstand extreme weather events and earthquakes like in Fukushima.

Acain blamed human error of the Soviets to what happen at Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant in Northern Ukraine.

According to World Nuclear Association. the Chernobyl accident in 1986 was the result of a flawed reactor design that was operated with inadequately trained personnel. The resulting steam explosion and fires released at least 5% of the radioactive reactor core into the environment, with the deposition of radioactive materials in many parts of Europe. Two Chernobyl plant workers died due to the explosion on the night of the accident, and a further 28 people died within a few weeks as a result of acute radiation syndrome. The United Nations Scientific Committee on the Effects of Atomic Radiation has concluded that, apart from some 5000 thyroid cancers (resulting in 15 fatalities), "there is no evidence of a major public health impact attributable to radiation exposure 20 years after the accident." Some 350,000 people were evacuated as a result of the accident, but resettlement of areas from which people were relocated is ongoing.

“Ngayon na perpekto na nila iyon na kahit may singaw ma ku-contain na ng self-contained dome,” Acain refuted the disadvantages of hosting a nuclear reaction based on what happened in Ukraine.

The Mayor until now could not cite what foreign investor will build the one thousand megawatt power plant. He said however that delegates of a nuclear power plant in China visited lately the town.

 Committee on Nuclear Energy Chairman Pangasinan 2nd District Congressman Mark Cojuangco was seen talking lately with the Japanese and American ambassadors in the country about the plan of the government to host nuclear reactor in the Philippines. Cojuangco is still deliberating in Congress the creation of the Philippine Atomic Regulatory Commission that will oversee construction of nuclear reactors in the Philippines.

READ MY OTHER BLOG:

The Lethal, Costly Weapons of a Cobra


MORTZ C. ORTIGOZA

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I am a twenty years seasoned Op-Ed Political Writer in various newspapers and Blogger exposing government corruptions, public officials's idiocy and hypocrisies, and analyzing local and international issues. I have a master’s degree in Public Administration and professional government eligibility. I taught for a decade Political Science and Economics in universities in Metro Manila and cities of Urdaneta, Pangasinan and Dagupan. Follow me on Twitter @totoMortz or email me at totomortz@yahoo.com.