Reporters’ boo-boos on War in Mindanao

 By Mortz C. Ortigoza

For my almost a year stint as radio commentator here are some bloopers I experienced with some radio reporters.

When I was discussing about a land to be donated by a brother of a mayor to the city government as situs, er, location for the new city hall, the poser to me of a reporter was hilarious, unforgivable, and unforgettable.

 ME: Ang tax sa lupa sa BIR (Bureau of Internal Revenue) ay Donor, Estate, and Capital Gain Taxes.
Halimbawa may nagbigay sa iyo ng lupa at siya a sinisingil ng government, ang tawag sa tax doon ay Donor's Tax. Pag nakatangap ka noong lupa, ang tawag sa iyo ay DONEE (the tax on land being imposed by the BIR are Donor, Estate, and Capital Gain Taxes. For example somebody gave you a land and he was billed by the government, we call them as Donor’s Tax. If you’re  a recipient of that land, we call you as DONEE).

REPORTER: Iyan ba kasamang Mortz iyong DONEE ay iyong binibigay ng groom na Muslim sa parents ng bride para makasal sila? (Was that DONEE my pal Mortz the one given by a Muslim groom to the parents of the Muslim bride?)

ME: (I fell down from my seat but I have still the equanimity to answer him) Ang tawag doon ay DOWRY (We call it DOWRY).

Dowry, a noun, means a property or money brought by a groom to his wife on their marriage.
Its synonyms are marriage settlement, (marriage) portion, and archaicdot.
EXAMPLE: "Abdul Salsalani's dowry included a hectare of fertile pasture and two assault rifle Armalites to the parents of Zoraida Udtog".
The station's janitor, who was doing his stuff, was amused by the exchanges. He butted in and asked the difference of Donee and Dowry to the laundry's soap powder Downy.

***

As we analyzed the firefights between government forces and the Maute and the ISIS (Islamic State for Iraq and Syria), another reporter told me that two executed Christian bodies were found inside a home of a Muslim and at the river bank in Marawi City.

“Pag sa bahay pinatay iyong Christian liable iyong mga Maute ng HOMICIDE (If the Christian was executed inside the home of a Muslim the crime was HOMICIDE),” he told me.

“Akala ko MURDER kasi premeditated or ni plano kaya iyong mas heavier crime na murder pang life sentence iyon? (I thought it was MURDER because it was planned thus the crime committed was the heavier penalized Murder which is life sentence?),” I posed.

He insisted that it was not murder but the damn homicide.

 So to cut the chase that could undermine our long friendship, I asked him about the poor Christian who was killed at the river bank.

“If the crime was inside the house it was Homicide, that in the river bank was RIVERSIDE,” he explained to me with all confidence and bravado.

***

In one occasions, I was interviewing a general where I told him about the million of pesos stashed funds being pocketed by a private contractor with the military in Mindanao.

“Saan mo nakuha ang source of information mo? (Where did you get your information?)” the general asked me.

“Sa NICA (National Intelligence Coordinating Agency),” I told him.

A reporter who was waiting for a beat to be given by his news chief was eavesdropping on our exchanges. When he could no longer bear his curiosity he came to me and whispered:

“Sino iyong si NICA, siyota ba ni general? (Who is NICA, is she the girlfriend of the general?)”

***

A reporter asked a battle ready Army private who was part of a battalion who queued for a military C-130 cargo plane ride from an air force base in Manila to the war torn Marawi City.

Reporter: What is your understanding of Martial Law?

Private: Ummm, it’s the same as karate we call also as Martial Art.

I think my prognosis was correct that millions of Filipinos, the discriminating Yanks called Flips, need to be educated about what is Martial Law.

Here’s my previous serious column/blog about Martial Law 101. Please click What Filipinos can expect in Martial Law

(You can read my selected columns at http://mortzortigoza.blogspot.com and articles at Pangasinan News Aro. You can send comments too at totomortz@yahoo.com)