The Humorous Ambassador Amadito Perez, Jr

By MORTZ C. ORTIGOZA

Just heard my hard hitting veteran radio commentator friend Ruel Camba opining that Secretaries Proceso Alcala and Dinky Soliman should be insulted after President Aquino awarded recently a  Labrador  K-9 for meritorious service on its role in the Coast Guard’s search and rescue operations in Bohol that was bellied-up by a killer earthquake last year.
"Mas mabuti pa ang aso may award!" Ruel, the Joseph Goebbels at the P.I.O during the three termed Governor Victor Agbayani Administration, pounded his radio booth at DWPR.

Ambassador Amadito Perez, Jr. with his 100% unadulterated
steel made cane that acted, he said, as his third foot.
The veteran politician is in a huddle with (L-R) former
 Congressman Mark Cojuangco, former Binalonan
Mayor Monching Guico, Pozzurobio Mayor Art Chan,
Sison Mayor Mina Joy Pangasinan, and Villasis Mayor
Nonato Abrenic

Here's my funny experience with K-9 in 2011. A fellow media man who only finished high school (we in the media industry do not have a Philippine Regulatory Commission to police us who can practice and those who cannot with our profession) brought and patched me with the Superintendent of the Department of Education who mulled to sue me with libel. Here is the conversation that ensued in that office:

 MEDIA MAN: Maam ano ang pinagkaka-abalahan ninyo ngayon sa Dep Ed? SUPERINTENDENT: Ito, busy kami ngayon sa K-12. MEDIA MAN (surprised) K-12? ha, ha, ha! Kelan pa pinasukan ng Dep Ed ang mga aso? SUPT : Ikaw talaga, Carding (not his real name) hindi K-9 ang pinagkaka-abalahan namin, K-12 , Kindergarten to Grade 12, kaya K-12. MORTZ: Maam, pasensiya na kayo kay Carding, accidental media lang ho iyan. Noong inutusan ng nanay niya na bumili ng suka nakasalubong niya sila Tony Text Back and Dennis Mojares na pinasama siya sa interview sa mayor, kaya hayon nakatikim ng sobre nag media na!

***

Although he seldoms cracked jokes, but whenever former congressman and incumbent de facto Ambassador Amadito Perez, Jr. pulls one it was hilarious.

In the extended birthday party celebration he tendered to gubernatorial aspirant Mark Cojuangco at the Urdaneta City University’s gym last October 12, Perez, an octogenarian and still a rumored Casanova, told the politician guests and visitors how times fly:

 “May baston na ako ngayon. Sabi ko sa mga kaibigan ko na ang ikatatlong pa-a ko ay gawa sa bakal. Ang hindi alam ng iba na meron pa akong ika-apat na pa-a na pinagawa ko na rin sa bakal”.

Ha, ha, ha!

***

The first time Perez jested with me was after the 2010 election when his son Bobom defeated in an acrimonious contest his Vice Mayor Julio “Julie” Parayno who ran too for the mayoralty.

Here’s the excerpt of that banter that I wrote in 2010 at my Northern Watch’s column:

 “What legacies are you leaving in your city that you’re now retiring for good after being in public office since the late 1950s?” I posed in English to an English speaking hizzoner.

“I would not answer that question. That would be self-serving on my part,” he told me.

Then Vir (Maganes, fellow columnist at NW) asked him about the significant margin of votes his son Bobom got against his bitter mayoral rival and critic Parayno.

 After Perez, a last term mayor during that time finished talking, Vir asked me to shoot my second question.

Still unprepared, I shot a naughty one:

“Sir, is it true that Julie committed suicide — since he was telling everybody that he would win hands down in the mayoral derby?”

Perez was taken aback and then he smiled.

“Oh yes, Julie not only committed suicide. He even invited Ninoy (Angeles) and Ed (Ferrer) (Julie’s media PR and Perez’s harsh critics, too) to simultaneously put a noose on their neck and simultaneously jump from the chair where their feet stood. Pero matibay si Julie, ayaw mamatay-matay. Buhay pa rin hangang ngayon. Pero si Ed at si Ninoy ay sabay na nanga-matay”.

I had a guffaw to that antics complement of the irrepressible Mayor Perez.

Abono Partylist chairman Sendo So gave his infectious laugher too, after I relayed to him what Perez told me earlier.

He immediately called the mobile phone of Ed. But Ed was not answering. “Bakit kaya? Baka totoong namatay na nga si Ed,” I told myself as I got a cold chills on my back.

***

In this month birthday extension, I was amused again with the Philippines'envoy to Taiwan as he lauded the young mayor by saying his father, a veteran politician, is a father of someone at each of the town’s barangays.

Ha, ha, ha!

***

 At the birthday celebration of Cojuangco last October 6 at his cloud-kissed residence at Labayug, Sison, the Manila Economic & Cultural Office (MECO) Chair chalked up a masterpiece

He told the birthday guests of former Pangasinan Congressman Cojuangco that the latter is not a Lothario.

Perez jocularly cited that unlike the incumbent mayor and former mayor at the presidential table, Cojuangco is a faithful husband to wife Congresswoman Kimi Cojuangco :

"Matagal ko ng kasama si Mark hindi ito malikot sa aparatus, talagang takuza talaga ito".

***

When former Abono Party List  Rep. Robert Raymund “Eskimo” Estrella introduced then Mayor Perez to the crowd in the late 2000s in one of the political gatherings, the comical and amiable former solon roared: “Ang susunod na magsasalita ay walang iba kung hindi si Amadito, Ama doon, Amadito Perez, Jr.” that caused  the crowd to roar in laughter and wildly applaud.

***

When former Alaminos City Mayor Hernani Braganza, whose sense of 

 humor could shame those stand up comedians in Quezon Avenue, has been rumored to challenge (he did run) Governor Amado Espino, Jr. ,newly-minted Amadito Perez, Jr.has been suspected to arrange the seating arrangement of the guests that included President Benigno Aquino III at the stage during the 2011 inauguration of the P250 Million Engineered Sanitary Landfill loaned by Urdaneta City in the Land Bank of the Philippines.

Seating side by side were Braganza and Espino who had been exchanging some barbs in the past.

When Amadito spoke, Braganza told me he and Espino were left in an awkward position as they were near each other. He said the governor seemed aloft with him.

“Alanganin akong batiin si Espines, alam ninyo naman baka isnabin ako. Pero noong nagsasalita na si Amadito napansin kung gasgas na ang puwet niya”.

He said it was an opportunity for him  to “jump” and break the ice with the governor

 “Boss, wala ng puwet si Amadito!" he whispered to Espino.

Nani said the governor had a restrained chuckle and giggle and instead quipped to him his favorite expression: “Bakes ka talaga! (You are really a monkey!)”.

(You can read my selected columns at http://mortzortigoza.blogspot.com and articles at Pangasinan News Aro. You can send comments too attotomortz@yahoo.com).